Understanding Your Child’s Temperament

Who is My Child? Understanding Temperament by KBYU TV Ready To Learn Links to an external site.

Parenting is one of the toughest jobs around. Guiding children in today’s world takes a huge amount of physical and emotional energy. Parenting is a lively dance involv- ing the interplay between the child’s style and the parent’s approach and responses.

What is Temperament?

Children are born with their natural style of interacting with or reacting to people, places, and things—their tem- perament. In the late 1950s, temperament research began with the work of Alexander Thomas, Stella Chess, and associates. The New York Longitudinal Study identified nine temperament Links to an external site. characteristics or traits. The researchers found that these nine traits were present at birth and con- tinued to influence development in important ways throughout life. By observing a child’s responses to ev- eryday situations, the researchers could assess these tem- peraments. Temperament is stable and differs from per- sonality, which is a combination of temperament and life experiences, although the two terms are often used interchangeably.

Since the 1950s, many scientific studies of temperament have continued to show that children’s health and develop- ment are influenced by temperament. We all know children who are much more challenging to deal with than other children, starting at birth. The realization that many behav- ioral tendencies are inborn—and not the result of bad parenting—is perhaps one of the most important insights parents gain from learning more about temperament.

Temperament Traits

The examination of a child’s temperament generally occurs when the child’s behavior is difficult. Clinicians use a series of interviews, observations, and question- naires that measure the nine temperament traits using a

spectrum (scale) indicating mild to intense responses or reactions. By understanding temperament, the parent can work with the child rather than trying to change his or her inborn traits. The nine temperament traits and an explana- tion of the dimensions are given below.

• Activity: Is the child always moving and doing some- thing OR does he or she have a more relaxed style?

• Rhythmicity: Is the child regular in his or her eating and sleeping habits OR somewhat haphazard?

• Approach/withdrawal: Does he or she “never meet a stranger” OR tend to shy away from new people or things?

• Adaptability: Can the child adjust to changes in rou- tines or plans easily or does he or she resist transitions?

• Intensity: Does he or she react strongly to situations, either positive or negative, OR does he or she react calmly and quietly?

• Mood: Does the child often express a negative outlook OR is he or she generally a positive person? Does his or her mood shift frequently OR is he or she usually even-tempered?

• Persistence and attention span: Does the child give up as soon as a problem arises with a task OR does he or she keep on trying? Can he or she stick with an activity a long time OR does his or her mind tend to wander?

• Distractibility: Is the child easily distracted from what he or she is doing OR can he or she shut out external distractions and stay with the current activity?

• Sensory threshold: Is he or she bothered by external stimuli such as loud noises, bright lights, or food tex- tures OR does he or she tend to ignore them?

Temperament Types

These traits combine to form three basic types of tem- peraments. Approximately 65 percent of all children fit one of three patterns. Forty percent of children are gener- ally regarded as “easy or flexible,” 10 percent are re- garded as “difficult, active, or feisty,” and the final 15 percent are regarded as “slow to warm up or cautious.” The other 35 percent of children are a combination of these patterns. By understanding these patterns, parents can tailor their parenting approach in such areas as expec- tations, encouragement, and discipline to suit the child’s unique needs.

• Easy or flexible children are generally calm, happy, regular in sleeping and eating habits, adaptable, and not easily upset. Because of their easy style, parents need to set aside special times to talk about the child’s frustrations and hurts because he or she won’t demand or ask for it. This intentional communication will be necessary to strengthen your relationship and find out what your child is thinking and feeling.

• Difficult, active, or feisty children are often fussy, irregular in feeding and sleeping habits, fearful of new people and situations, easily upset by noise and com- motion, high strung, and intense in their reactions. Providing areas for vigorous play to work off stored up energy and frustrations with some freedom of choice allow these children to be successful. Preparing these children for activity changes and using redirection will help these children transition (move or change) from one place to another.

• Slow to warm up or cautious children are relatively inactive and fussy, tend to withdraw or to react nega- tively to new situations, but their reactions gradually become more positive with continuous exposure. Sticking to a routine and your word, along with allow- ing ample time to establish relationships in new situa- tions, are necessary to allow independence to unfold.

Most children have some level of intensity on several temperament traits, but one dimension will usually domi- nate. Refrain from using negative labels such as “cry baby,” “worrywart,” or “lazy.” The child’s abilities to develop and behave in acceptable ways are greatly deter- mined by the adults in their lives trying to identify, recog- nize, and respond to his or her unique temperament. By doing so, the adults can alter or adjust their parenting methods to be a positive guide in their child’s natural way of responding to the world.

This match between the child’s temperament and the demands or expectations of his or her environment (fam- ily, school, childcare setting) greatly improves relation- ships. Parents who are tuned into their child’s tempera- ment and who can recognize their child’s strengths will find life more enjoyable. It will be a dynamic dance that will last a lifetime.

Temperament and attachment. Attachment refers to thoughts, feelings, and behaviors shown by a child in a close relation to others, most often the mother or other primary caregiver. Although research findings have not been altogether consistent, there are reports of significant relationships between temperament and attachment measures (Rothbart and Bates 1998).

One of the most interesting was reported by Dymphna van den Boom (1989). She found that infants who were irritable as newborns were more likely to be insecurely attached to their mothers at the end of the first year than nonirritable newborns. In a second study, van den Boom enrolled irritable newborn infants and their mothers for an intervention study. One group of mothers was taught parenting skills, including how to soothe and play with their babies; another group was not. With intervention, the trained mothers became more responsive to their babies, and more of their infants were identified as secure in their attachment at one year. Continued positive effects of this intervention on children's social behavior have been found for the children up to ages two and three years (van den Boom 1995).

Chess and Thomas (1984) gave as an example of poor fit the case of Roy, a highly distractible child. As an infant, Roy's distractibility allowed parental soothing to be quick and effective. Later, however, the distractibility that had been helpful to the parent in infancy was a problem as Roy became unreliable and forgetful as an older child. His mother nagged him to get things done, and in time, Roy ignored his mother's messages. This, in turn, led Roy's mother to judge him in negative terms. Roy's behavior did not improve, and the mother did not recognize that what had made him a good baby was now leading to unreliable behavior at home and at school that led her to judge him negatively. Although goodness of fit has been difficult to study, there is now some evidence of relations between goodness of fit, higher achievement, and more positive classroom behaviors (Paterson and Sanson 1999).